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Sample e-mail: Mitch, Funny stuff on Leno. You really pulled through at the end by showing your junk on national television. That took some balls because I'm sure that studio is cold, did you have a fluffer backstage? Riggs Thanks Riggs. I don’t know if "showing my junk" is really what I intended but hey as long as it makes the fans happy then my junk is for all to share. It is true though, On August 12th 2003 my junk swung freely for all the world to see (and I must say after viewing it I was quite impressed with myself, I’m not saying it’s junk that’s going to frighten anyone but it wasn't anything to be ashamed of). Some background on how this all came to pass. The setup: If you saw the piece (which will be re-aired Friday August 29th at 11:30pm EST on NBC) you know that I went to South Dakota,  where I interviewed bikers at the Sturgis bike rally. Among a motley crew of scary looking bikers and topless girls I interviewed an extremely hot biker chick named Amanda who was wearing an insanely sexy outfit. When the Tonight Show runs these pieces they always insist that I come out and intro the piece with Jay. I always feel silly doing this because I don’t know what to say and I feel like the audience will never like me till they see the piece  (I’m a very insecure person which is odd for a comedian). My preference is to come out after the piece and wave to the cheering audience. I came up with the idea of wearing my chaps out after the piece ran rather than intro-ing the piece before. Tuesday afternoon I met with Jay for rehearsal, he watched the piece and liked it. Jay mentioned, "I heard you’re going to wear the chaps out after the piece." I said "Yes, but I’m going to be wearing Jeans with them, not just my underwear" This caused a reaction from both Jay and the head writer who wanted to know why I wasn’t going the full monty. I explained that it’s national television and I knew my family would be watching and didn’t know if walking out in my underwear was really that appropriate. Jay was real disappointed in this and let me know in so many words that he would really prefer I wear the outfit as it was in the bit. After some thinking I decided that actually would be better. I should totally commit. I hate people who do things half assed and I also knew how much better it would be for the audience so the decision was finalized. I would wear my underwear out. Mitch in his tighty whiteys had been green lighted. There was no turning back. America was about to see me in my skivvies. But would it be that easy???
The Controversy: The bit runs. I’m sitting in the dressing room, amazed that I’m about to do this. My first concern of course was the shrinkage factor. It’s a freezing cold studio and I’m nervous. These are not the optimum operating conditions for the testes.  I thought about stuffing, even experimenting with a sock which looked so huge it was silly. That of course put me on top of the world. I mean if a sock makes you look average then you have worries, but if it makes you look huge, well that means...I don’t know what it means but somehow I was happy. The decision was made, I would hold my own (so to speak). The show starts, the bit runs and the time of reckoning is nearing. Usually I can’t wait for my bits to air, but sitting in my dressing room in my underwear knowing that I was about to introduce Lil Mitch to the world made me wish each second would last an hour. Finally the bit ended to raucous applause and now the time had come, the final bell had tolled. My life and the lives of millions of faithful fans was about to change forever. "Lets get him out here Ladies and Gentleman, Mitch Fatel" I walked out proudly and let the world see the legend that would soon be known simply as "The Unit." That’s when it happened. For the first time ever I saw Jay look back at me shocked and suddenly start laughing. Jay who was supposed to ask me something about the piece was now covering me up with his jacket. I was confused, after all he was the one who said he wanted this yet now he seemed to be backing out. I was flabbergasted. We went to commercial and Jay hysterical said to me "Mitch, I didn’t know the front was exposed" To which I replied "Jay why did you think I was having second thoughts about it?" He goes on to tell me he had absolutely no clue that the front part would be exposed and assumed it would only be the back. Why he assumed this I’ll never know but he was genuinely stunned as was the entire staff and control room. In a good way though, everyone was hysterical and the atmosphere became
electric and all because of my balls, my little balls had changed the world. Suddenly 9/11, the great blackout, the war in Iraq, all of it was washed away by my balls. Who knew they had such power? The power to bring happiness, the power to heal, the power to to bring peace to the world. My balls had shocked a nation and in the process made us all look a little bit closer inside ourselves and stopped all racism and hatred forever. This is my legacy and I accept it.
 Click on the picture to watch a video clip from Mitch's Sturgis piece. For a limited time only. Now that this episode, which I’m sure I haven’t heard the last of is over I can address one other issue. This Friday I also made history of less obscene kind when I performed in my pajamas on the Carson Daly show. As far as I know it’s the first time this has ever been done by a stand up and probably the last. Why? Because it was a big friggin flop. I, however, refuse to take the blame for this fiasco. Here’s why; I received a call from the Carson Daly people before the show asking me to please come up with something different to do during my set.  They said they wanted to do something experimental and get away from just straight stand up. I thought about it and felt my options were limited, I mean stand up is stand up. It lives and dies on it’s own. I was lost at what I could do? I woke up Monday morning and as usual gazed in the mirror. It hit me that I looked kind of cute in my jammies. Then I realized everyone looks cute in their jammies. Even Jeffery Dahmer in feety pajamas would be adorable. His lawyer would be like, "Ladies and Gentleman, it’s true my client raped and killed but can you really convict a man who stands before you in his jimmy jams?" I realized I don’t think there’s a time during the day that I’m more comfortable and secure then in the late evening and morning when I’m ensconced in my bed time flannels. Then it hit me, no man (as far as I know) has ever performed stand up comedy in his jammies...I knew now what had to be done. I quickly called the Carson Daly people and explained the idea to them and relayed to them what I felt was the most important part of this idea. That is that Carson had to make a humongous deal out of it or it wouldn’t work. That’s what would make it funny. I said that throughout the show he has to set it up as the biggest thing ever to be done on national television. As if we were breaking the final barrier of television. That to me is what would make it just so ultra stupid and to me nothing is funnier than stupid stuff. I explained that every commercial break he should say "You are going to witness television history in 10 minutes folks, you’re very lucky to be here on such a groundbreaking night" etc. They agreed this was the way to go and assured me they would go over it with Carson. Two times, that’s the measly amount of times he mentioned it before I came out. To make matters worse he mentioned it during applause breaks before commercials to an audience that really didn’t understand what he meant (i.e. When we come back Mitch Fatel in his jammies). When I finally did walk out in my jammies no one really understood what was going on. I could see the audience thinking "Why exactly is he in his pajamas, is this a skit or is he just retarded?" As a result I feel the set was very mediocre and definitely not something to write home about. The worst part was I felt like it could have been a great idea that fell like a led zeppelin. So unfortunately the week started with this kick ass Leno piece but ended on a bland vomity kind of note. oh well, you live, you learn, you show your balls on TV. I guess it’s just all part of the plan. Thanks for coming this week folks. Be sure to check out my new "Why I love muffins clip." It’s actually taken right from my CD which is in pre-production right now as we speak so keep your eye open for this fine new Mitch product which should be available by October. Also, be sure to pick up the August issue of Penthouse magazine which has my interview in it. I think its funny, be sure to let me know. This may actually be the last issue ever so this could become a collectors edition. How cool is that?
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