mitch's journal

November 17th 2003
Wow, that's all I can say is just wow! What an incredible time I just had in Canada. I have so many cool photos to share and great stories. First I want to apologize for not writing sooner. As most of my faithful journal readers know I try to write a new hysterical journal at least twice a month, but I got so caught up in traveling around Canada and performing in different venues every night that I really had no time. Other comedians of course will offer you a weekly journal that bores the shit out of everyone (Typical Comedy Journal: And then I got high with fans and we ate Doritos, man it was one crazy night!). Mitch Fatel, on the other hand, offers you a quality journal chock full of humorous anecdotes and experiences, albeit less often than the typical hack comedian website. As I mentioned above, the tour was really just incredible except for the fact that I ate like a friggin moose.Pasta Anyone who has met me knows that I'm a pretty small guy and anything more than a cracker a day makes me plump up. Being fat on a taller guy is okay because they have more room to put it, but if I become fat it's got nowhere to go but my petite stomach leaving me a rotund little man that scares children and families alike. It was hard not to eat like a pig though because we were treated like such stars on this tour and everywhere we went they had these incredible platters that were waiting for us. For a few shows we even had our very own pasta chef traveling around with us, I mean seriously how cool is that? I wound up eating so much pasta that I shit a something funny here (please e-mail any ideas?). Regardless, I never could have expected this tour would have been so incredible. The majority of the time we were in 3000 seat theaters and a few times we even played in stadiums.

Onstage at Mile One Stadium: Halifax, Nova Scotia

The people were also so great. The first show we ever did we got a standing ovation which blew me away, little did I know that would continue for almost every show and by the last one I was so used to them that if we didn't get one I thought we sucked.

Our first standing ovation (can you find me?)
I met so many great people, first and foremost were the other guys on the tour. There were 3 Canadians, one Englishman and two Americans (including me) Tour Mates We all got along really great. The host was a famous Canadian named Rick Mercer. I was told when we started the tour how famous he was in Canada but dismissed it thinking I had never heard of him but it was true that dude is huge. Wherever we went people would go out of their minds to meet him. He's very famous for something called "Talking to Americans" which is a Canadian show where they ask Americans questions about Canada and think its hysterical that we don't know the answers. After having spent a month there though I gotta tell you, there's really not much to know. They're all just really nice and they have whales, basically that covers it all. Speaking of which I was very pissed off because the day we were supposed to go whale watching they had to cancel due to inclement weather.

However, I made up for it by meeting Ms. October from the Women of Canada calender. Man was she hot. I know Marnie is going to kill me for posting this picture but when you get a shot of Ms. October's thong sticking out of her pants that would just be wrong to keep to yourself. For the record though I want to state that I would never sleep with her and I find her very unattractive and Marnie is much more beautiful and I'm not just saying that because she reads every journal. :) Ms October
Click picture for thong close up.

One of the funniest things is how all the guys on tour got mad at me because I wouldn't go drinking with them. I would drink more if I liked the taste of alcohol but the only stuff I really like is girl drinks and I didn't want to order a banana daiquiri in front of everyone. I do love those banana daiquiris though. Daiquiri I must be the gayest man alive without being gay. Speaking of which, I wondered how I would get along with a bunch of guys for four weeks straight. I was worried because I'm such a freak but everyone seemed to really like me a lot and we all laughed so much. Luckily, a camera crew followed us around to make a documentary of the tour which is going to air on Canadian Television. I'll see if I can make that available for sale when it comes out so my American fans can check it out.

"So where to now young fella with the nice eyes and pleasant demeanor?" you may ask. Well, I've conquered Canada, I'm pretty much the biggest star in America next to Michael Jackson so where does one go from here? I think I may go on an Australian tour next. Apparently the people down under are clamoring for a retarded comedian. My agent wants me to go to LA for a month to audition for pilots but I'm confused if I should. Sitcom Face I'm like the worst actor in history. I may be able to pull off sitcom acting though. Honestly, if John Stamos can do it can it really be that hard? I think the jist of it is you have to basically walk into a room and say stuff like "Hey, that's my peanut butter assface!" and then make that sitcom face. Here's my sitcom face, what do you think?

I hope everyone had a great Thanksgiving. I spent it with my sister who served half cooked turkey so I'm going to be fighting off the Triganosis for the next few days. Hope to see you guys in Atlantic City next week and be sure to come spend New Years with me at Caroline's on Broadway, we'll bring in 2004 together getting loaded on banana daiquiris.



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