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August, 2008
I love you, there I said it. I, Mitch Fatel, love you! I'll be honest, I don't know exactly who "you" are
but if you're reading this I assume you're a fan and I want
you to know I fucking love you and want to do you in the butt! I've come to this conclusion over the last few months, that I have the most incredible fans in the world.
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Not my dream as a kid.
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In the last few years my
career has really taken off. The last 6 months especially since my Comedy Central special has started playing regularly.
I'm suddenly selling out theaters and big clubs. People are even showing up with signs. Fucking signs!
How cool is that? You can only dream about that as a kid.
I never knew you could love your fans, because when I was a dishwasher at Denny's I didn't really
have fans. I think you can judge your art by the people who like
it and the people who like my act are usually very intelligent and better looking then me (although my smile kicks ass).
I have so many different groups of people coming to the shows.
Doctors, Grandparents, a black person even comes once every 50 shows.
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Every 50 shows.
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And everyone usually waits patiently on line after my performances and are just so incredibly cool and complimentary. They really are the
nicest people I've ever met. Oftentimes the female fans are drunk and sometimes they will be nice enough to actually let me see and/or touch
their vaginas! How great is that? I LOVE touching vagina's!
I don't mean to put down Wrestling or the Maury Povich
show or Larry the Cable guy, but I've seen the fans of these particular entities
and I think my fans are smarter and cooler. By the way, I'm not saying my fans can't be
fans of those things as well, actually yeah maybe I am saying that.
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Wash dishes or write jokes?
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I also want to take this opportunity to thank all the people who write me. I can't write back as many people as I used to, but I do try to read all of them though,
so if you write don't think I don't appreciate it. I wish I could
write everyone back
but that would mean I would have to go back to being a dishwasher at Denny's and I don't
know why you would write me then except to tell me that I did
a kick ass job cleaning off your blueberry pie and that you enjoyed throwing food at me when I was
bussing the table. However, I do promise one day to have a huge orgy with everyone who wrote me. Fun will be had by all and the Hi-C and Hawaiian punch will flow like it is water!
Okay, that's it for now. Thanks for reading and letting me say thanks, lots of good shows
coming up, Washington DC, Houston, Philly, and I just booked the Ft. Lauderdale Improv for New Years so make your reservations now. It's going to be the wildest new years ever and I'm going to get drunk with everyone. It will be extreme. By the way, speaking of extreme, I hope you guys liked my report from the X-Games. If you saw it then you know I truly took mama to the toilet!
Mitch
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